Mario is Missing: Mario Meets Edutainment

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My generation’s baptism into the bizarre world of ‘edutainment’ came with our school-mandated curriculum of the Oregon Trail series. Sure, it was supposed teach you about pioneers, but the designers made a crucial mistake – it was actually fun as hell to play. This basically guaranteed two things:

1. We didn’t actually learn shit about the Oregon trail.
2. We discovered at a young age to avoid dysentery, cholera, tuberculosis, and typhoid. Also, that if you were a cheap piece of shit and didn’t pay the ferryman, at least two oxen would pay the price and probably also your brother-in-law.

Computer games during school? Sign me up for that shit. We loved Oregon Trail day. I doubt there’s a child out there who doesn’t fondly remember those blissful days shooting 300 lbs. of buffalo and only carrying 50 lbs. back to your wagon.
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Perfect Dark: The Swan Song of the Nintendo 64

In the beginning, there was Goldeneye 007, and it was good. The year was 1997, and console shooters were formless and empty. Thus Rare said “Let there be objectives.” And so it was. And Rare blessed the players with free will, so that they may try to beat the game with stealth, or fail their objectives should they fall into the clutches of temptation. And ye, up to four players could rock each other’s asses off in intense multiplayer. And so they did, destroying many college grades and sleep schedules in their wake.

Then in 2001, there was Halo: Combat Evolved, and it was also good. For Bungie had given form to a new world, a vast playground teeming with green valleys and icy canyons. And they filled these wondrous spaces with many exotic vehicles, like the Pelicans that flew through the sky, and the Warthogs that wandered the earth. And Bungie fashioned a friend for the player to game with, and he was named “Player 2”, and they endured many frustrating levels of Legendary mode together. And when their friends came over to play with them, they enjoyed many sleepless nights of the best multiplayer gaming had ever seen.

The rest, as they say, is history. However, snuggled between the releases of these two goliath masterpieces was Perfect Dark, the much-beloved spiritual successor to Goldeneye. Back in 2000, this cult classic title glided in on the dying breath of the Nintendo 64’s lifecycle. Though technically superior to its iconic predecessor in almost every way, its late release guaranteed it would soon be overshadowed. It had barely a year to make an in impact before the launch of the next generation of consoles, and with them the cataclysmic arrival of Halo.
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Papers, Please: Gaming Satire at Its Absolute Finest

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I’ve occasionally heard the argument that it’s impossible to make a game about an ordinary person. An exceptional plot, they say, demands an exceptional protagonist. Somehow he or she must be special. Maybe he’s all-powerful, or maybe she’s exceptionally brave. Maybe he’s simply in the right place at the right time. In other words, he needs to be “the Chosen One”. Otherwise, it’s just a game about a guy living his life, right? Get up, go to work, buy groceries, pay the bills. Nothing special.

If anything, Papers, Please has shattered that myth for good. Here is a game with a simple premise: playing a border guard in charge of inspecting passports. It’s a concept so tedious it almost sounds like work. And yet, I found its game play so rich and imaginative that I became utterly addicted. Not just merely playing to press onward, but absolutely glued to the game. I put off sleep and studying for it. And even more magnificent was that it not only changed my perspective of what a game could be, it even altered my perceptions of the real world.

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Pilotwings: Super Nintendo à la Mode 7

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Back in 1990, Nintendo released three first-party titles for the launch of its fledgling SNES console. The first two were Super Mario World and F-Zero, two Nintendo classics that would go on to become iconic entries in Nintendo’s line of flagship games. The third game was Pilotwings.

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Star Fox Review: No, Not the One On Nintendo 64

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Ah, Star Fox. If there’s anything that’ll make me nostalgic for my childhood, it’s memories of flying around the Lylat Sytem in my Arwing and waging war against the forces of Andross.

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Jurassic Park: Childhood Trauma In a Cartridge

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It’s hard to find anyone that takes licensed titles seriously these days. With a couple of noteworthy exceptions (Spider Man 2, Goldeneye 007), they’re almost always poorly made cash-ins accompanying some movie or television show. Nevertheless, during the late 80s and early 90s there seemed to be a lot of quality licensed titles coming out for the NES, Super Nintendo, and Sega Genesis. Back then, graphics and technology were simple enough that even a small team could churn out a good game in under a year. My cousin, my brother, and I were particular fans of Alladin, The Lion King, Road Runner’s Death Valley Rampage, Animaniacs, and Tiny Toon Adventures, all of which we played on the old SNES we kept at our grandmother’s house.

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The Gears of War trilogy: Instant Fun, Just Add Friends

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I hope you’ll forgive the laziness of critiquing an entire series of games in a single review, but I didn’t feel compelled (read: motivated enough) to analyze my thoughts on each game in separate posts. Over the last weekend I beat both Gears of War 2 & 3 after having put a few hours into both of them with Tim and Andrew respectively. Having polished off the first Gears of War many years ago, I though now a good a time as any to summarize my thoughts on the series as a whole.

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Six Websites to Help You Manage and Clear Your Backlog

Clearing out a backlog takes some serious discipline. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to most people that the first step towards clearing one out should be to catalog your games, and then determine which ones to beat first. Besides giving you a central location from which to manage your game collection, a well-organized backlog will also allow you to track your progress and give you a clearer picture how far you have to go before you reach your goals.

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Scribblenauts: Helicopter and a Rope

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I am a grumpy, old gamer who lacks any sort of imagination. Well, at least that’s what I felt like playing Scribblenauts.

I bought Scribblenauts on its launch day, deliberately visiting a GameStop just to pick it up despite a lifelong proclivity for only playing new releases long after they’ve expired. What had caught my attention in this particular case was all positive press surrounding the game at E3 2009. Here was a game found at an insignificant, easily-overlooked booth at E3 being showered with “Best of Show” awards. It was made out to be the underdog hit of the year – an obscure handheld title developed by a small team that overshadowed even the console giants at the industry’s biggest conference. After reading Neogaf’s infamous Post 217, boldly stating that “There’s nothing you can’t do,” I bought my ticket for the hype train and became convinced that it would be the sleeper hit of the year.

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Let’s Play: Rainbowing Some Sixes, Episodes 7-10

Posted four more sessions of Rainbowing Some Sixes this week. Check them out below or at our YouTube channel. I’m also pleased to welcome our friends Randall and Austin for episode 10, bringing our total party size to seven. Just one shy of the game’s actual co-op limit. Any volunteers?

I’d also like to comment that the four episodes here probably represent the toughest missions in the game. Everyone else’s opinion was that mission 7, the meat packing plant, was the worst, but mission 10 was probably the worst for me. Three sessions of game play with a total of around 70 attempts was really trying my patience. Enjoy our misery!

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